Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
