I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
