moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
