nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
