A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
