I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
