Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I did not marry a roomba.
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