Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have aggressive nipples.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
