i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
