I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
