How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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