One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
