SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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