You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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