Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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