She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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