Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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