so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish you could order shots online.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
