so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
