Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
