Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
from now on my penis is your penis
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
