It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
