How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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