...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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