just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
