I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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