my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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