He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
