in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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