yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
