So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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