What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
