Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
