I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Couch. On fire.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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