consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
