And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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