I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
