Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
