I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
