FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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