My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
