If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
