he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
