we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
