I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
