and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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