i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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