Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
