I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
