Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
